Rubber Bullet

Letter to Proctor & Gamble

This is an actual letter from an Austin, Texas woman sent to the American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It’s PC Magazine’s 2007 editors’ choice for best web-mail, award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your ‘Always’ maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I’d probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can’t tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there’s a little F-16 in my pants.

The Less/Fewer Police Strike Again

The following is a rant/letter written to an executive of Merck & Co., Inc. regarding their abhorant new campaign for Gardasil, a cervical cancer vaccination.

Letter to the Editor of Baton Rouge Business Report | 02.20.06

Dear editors,

I am disgusted with both local developers and the Planning and Zoning Commission for the willy-nilly development of more buildings and concrete parking lots in this greenspace-starved city. The Creekstone housing development on Corporate Boulevard further encroaches on one of the last bastions of pasture that has provided, both literally and figuratively, a breath of fresh air to this schizophrenic city that I have called home most of my life.

E-mail to Michael L.

Where do I begin...?

We weathered the storm without many problems. Some large limbs here and there, part of the fence was downed and lost power for a little over a day. Considering the horror that so many others faced, this was peanuts. I was relieved when New Orleans missed the brunt of the storm but was shocked at the devastation wrought on the Mississippi and Alabama coasts. I have a friend with a house not far from the beach in Bay St. Louis that I'm sure must have been wiped out. I haven't heard from my father's first cousin who lived in Diamondhead, Mississippi, which no longer exists. I am hoping that the Walter Anderson Museum in Ocean Springs wasn't destroyed. I had just visited there again about six months ago.

Letter to the Editor of Baton Rouge Business Report | 12.09.03

'Unrevitalizing' Baton Rouge

To the editor: 

I was shocked and sickened to learn about the demolition of the historic Old Baton Rouge ice plant buildings ("Our Two Cents," Daily Report, Nov. 25). I honestly don't know how Richard Preis can sleep at night- perhaps he is completely devoid of a conscience. The historical integrity of our downtown area has little by little, building by building, been destroyed by money-hungry real estate developers. Our downtown is now no more than a huge parking lot. That ought to really attract tourism.

Preis should be ashamed putting his own selfish interest above the historical and cultural preservation of our city. Nonprofits such as the Foundation for Historical Louisiana have precious few resources to begin with and rely on the generosity of the community to continue the important services they provide. I think this destructive action is a major step backward in the so-called "revitalization" of Baton Rouge.

Michael S. Johnson

Letter to the Editor of Baton Rouge Business Report | 08.26.02

Business Report poll typical of affluent class

To the editor:

I realize that the Business Report readership is not a representative sample of the entire Baton Rouge community. I would imagine that the median household income of your readers would be upward of $100,000. Therefore, polls such as the mass transit expansion in Baton Rouge are, frankly, meaningless ("Readers speak," Business Report, July 16). The responses skew largely toward those who own their own automobiles and would rather use their cars to get to work and around town than use mass transit.